by Unknown

As Maria Robinson once said, "nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending." nothing could be closer to the truth. but before you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back. here are some ideas to get you started:

• Stop spending time with the wrong people.: life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. if someone wants you in their life, they'll make room for you. you shouldn't have to fight for a spot. never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. and remember, it's not the people that stand by your side when you're at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you're at your worst that are your true friends.

• Stop running from your problems.: face them head on. no, it won't be easy. there is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. we aren't supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. that's not how we're made. in fact, we're made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. because that's the whole purpose of living: to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. this is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.

• Stop lying to yourself.: you can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can't lie to yourself. our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.

• Stop putting your own needs on the back burner.: the most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. yes, help others; but help yourself too. if there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.

• Stop trying to be someone you're not.: one of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that's trying to make you like everyone else. someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. don't change so people will like you. be yourself and the right people will love the real you.

• Stop trying to hold onto the past.: you can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.

• Stop being scared to make a mistake.: doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. you end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.

• Stop berating yourself for old mistakes.: we may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us. we all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. but you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.

• Stop trying to buy happiness.: many of the things we desire are expensive. but the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free: love, laughter and working on our passions.

• Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness.: if you're not happy with who you are on the inside, you won't be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. you have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.

• Stop being idle.: don't think too much or you'll create a problem that wasn't even there in the first place. evaluate situations and take decisive action. you cannot change what you refuse to confront. making progress involves risk. period! you can't make it to second base with your foot on first.

• Stop thinking you're not ready.: nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won't feel totally comfortable at first.

• Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons.: relationships must be chosen wisely. it's better to be alone than to be in bad company. there's no need to rush. if something is meant to be, it will happen: in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. fall in love when you're ready, not when you're lonely.

• Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn't work.: in life you'll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. but most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.

• Stop trying to compete against everyone else.: don't worry about what others doing better than you. concentrate on beating your own records every day. success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.

• Stop being jealous of others.: jealousy is the art of counting someone else's blessings instead of your own. ask yourself this: "what's something i have that everyone wants?"

• Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself.: life's curveballs are thrown for a reason: to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you. you may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough. but reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past. you'll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation. so smile! let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.

• Stop holding grudges.: don't live your life with hate in your heart. you will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. forgiveness is not saying, "what you did to me is okay." it is saying, "i'm not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever." forgiveness is the answer"¦ let go, find peace, liberate yourself! and remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it's for you too. if you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.

• Stop letting others bring you down to their level.: refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.

• Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others.: your friends don't need it and your enemies won't believe it anyway. just do what you know in your heart is right.

• Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break.: the time to take a deep breath is when you don't have time for it. if you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you're getting. sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.

• Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments.: enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things. the best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.

• Stop trying to make things perfect.: the real world doesn't reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.

• Stop following the path of least resistance.: life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. don't take the easy way out. do something extraordinary.

• Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn't.: it's okay to fall apart for a little while. you don't always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. you shouldn't be concerned with what other people are thinking either: cry if you need to: it's healthy to shed your tears. the sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.

• Stop blaming others for your troubles.: the extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. when you blame others for what you're going through, you deny responsibility: you give others power over that part of your life.

• Stop trying to be everything to everyone.: doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out. but making one person smile CAN change the world. maybe not the whole world, but their world. so narrow your focus.

• Stop worrying so much.: worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy. one way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: "will this matter in one year's time? three years? five years?" if not, then it's not worth worrying about.

• Stop focusing on what you don't want to happen.: focus on what you do want to happen. positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. if you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you'll often find that you're right.

• Stop being ungrateful.: no matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. instead of thinking about what you're missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

xo_ginalove:

It's funny to me how, even at a young age, we all try to find that sense of love. Not the kind of love that you get from family or close friends, but the kind of love that people seem to have for each other in movies. The kind of love that makes you want to go out and interview every single eligible bachelor in the kingdom and see if he's the one with the right glass slipper.

Sometimes we think we find it. We lose ourselves in this world where only you two exist and nothing else seems to matter. We are young and in love and no one can stop us. You know, that kind of mentality.

But then sometimes, we lose it. And when you're 16 and you think you've found love, there's nothing more devastating than losing it. You mope and you cry wondering if there's anyone in the world that could fix you up. And after months and months of wishing and waiting you begin to think that you're a lost cause; that you're not special enough to be found and will remain lost.

It's funny how we're so fixated on finding true love at such a young age, though we fail to realize that it's not meant to be found. Rather, it's meant to be a surprise.

Two days from now, this time last year, the cosmos will have thrown me a curve ball that basically hit me in the face. Even when I think about it now, it hasn't really felt like a year, considering how long I hope that we'll be together.

He showed up and I wasn't ready for it. I had just ended something that I thought was going to last for a very long time, but it just wasn't going to happen. I was in my first year of college and was starting to feel that sense of loneliness that hits every single college freshmen at one point or another. I prayed so hard that I would find someone to make me feel less lonely, maybe even more loved.

It was like magic, or like a scene from a really bad romcom. He appeared out of thin air and I was so thrown off by his presence. Admittedly, he was a really big jerk when I first met him; a douche rocket in my terms. Yet whenever we interacted with each other, I would trip over my words and myself.

Something about him left me dazed and confused and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't figure out what it was. I was frustrated, not only because he was making me sound stupid, but because I looked so stupid in front of him, and I couldn't figure out why.

I won't go into much detail but a few long AIM conversations and skype dates later, here we are. One year later.

Very much in love.

Looking back on everything, it's funny how I was even worried about finding "true love" at that age. How devastated I was when I thought I found it and lost it. I was foolish for thinking I could find it at that age, but it was a lesson well learned.

To everyone that's going through some kind of pain or hurt because of a break up or "lost love":

It may not seem like it now, but all the pain you're experiencing now, is well worth it. There is someone out there that is better for you and that someone will give you everything that you deserve. As long as you give yourself a chance to be open to love again it will find its way to you. But you have to be willing to give yourself that chance because you deserve it. By keeping yourself in a rut of hurt and pain, by dwelling on the past, you're doing yourself a great diservice and putting yourself at a disadvantage. If you keep the hurt of the past inside, you can't open up to the love that's waiting for you on the outside.

Then and Now.

Going through what I had to go through, all the lies, the cheaters, and the deceivers, it was well worth it. It made me strong enough to be ready for a real relationship. I learned valuable lessons from every single relationship I was in and have applied those lessons to this one and that's why I think everything is going so well, even from 2000 miles away.

My Dear,

You've made me forget what I even cried about in the past; what I was so hurt about in the past. You've changed me in more ways than one and all of it was for the better. All my prayers were answered when I met you and as corny as this sounds, I can't imagine my life without you.

I know I'm not like every girl out there. I seem to have more"¦ quirks. if you will, than most others. I'm stubborn and I spit fire at whoever I want too. i'm rude at times and very blunt and vulgar. I eat like a man and scratch my tummy like a snorlax. I can't stand stupid people and make fun of them all the time. I'm surprised you ever picked me in the first place, but I'm so glad you did because I'm always trying my hardest to be nothing but the best for you.

It's almost been one whole year since I met you. I can't thank you enough for everything you've done for me, from staying up with me to help me with a paper to making me smile when I'm crying so hard. I know that there are times we both want to be there with each other, especially those moments when life is the most difficult thing to deal with, but even from so far away, I know you're right here beside me.

I love you more than words could ever begin to explain. I can't wait to see you sweetheart.

Kris Mark:

I've taken part in a pretty wide spectrum of romantic relationships with women. To say I regretted any one of them would be a lie—despite the numerous things that have occurred in my past that could be deemed morally unacceptable.

No, I didn't kill anyone. But I did manage to metaphorically bust a few hearts open. I was once (and only once) the cheater, the cheated on, the victim of denial, the perpetrator of lies, the lied to. I've had my fair share of situations that reinforce every cliché involving karma.

Girls have given me trouble. If anyone has ever gotten the notion that I was just always a ladies' man"¦I don't blame you.

No, don't gag. I'm totally kidding.

Actually, for as long as I've been interested in the womenfolk, I've been the long-term relationship kind of guy. Try that mentality out in middle school and early college—1% of girls are gaga over it. Not to mention, I was the dorky "nice" guy with zero game. I was no stranger to the we-should-just-be-friends stamp, or the why-doesn't-she-like-me-because-I'm-clearly-better-for-her-than-that-douche affliction. I even flipped that around at one point, trying my hand at being the jerk. I gave them trouble too. At first intentionally, then unintentionally. But as most movies involving fickle behavior as a motive of revenge would tell you: being someone other than yourself has its repercussions. I eventually lost sight of why I wanted a relationship. I wanted to find out what love really was. (Insert Foreigner's epic hook here.)

I temporarily gave into the idea of the entire idea of romance being a "game" or just a filler to a void, such that I fell from my high road of being patient for the perfect girl, while working to make myself the perfect guy for her in the meantime.

When I remembered what I wanted, that's when I found her. The girl who quite literally haunted my dreams for an incredibly long time.

I wasn't the charming, reformed suave machine with a clean slate that I had hoped to be once I met her. I didn't think I deserved a chance with a girl like her, but there it was. All I had to do was make sure there was nothing I would regret before I spoke to her. So, I did the most counterproductive, yet most effective thing anyone could ever do when meeting someone they could potentially fall in love with. I was myself.

Not the guy who wanted to fill a void. Not the guy who tried too hard. Just a guy with an incredible curiosity towards a great personality, smitten by the single most gorgeous smile he's ever seen.

Then it hit me—everything I've ever learned, every heart-wrenching situation a girl has caused, or that I've caused myself—all taught me to just remember the purity of why it all happened in the first place. Keep it simple, learn, and be patient. Everyone has their chance.

And honestly, I want every single guy out there to feel like how I feel for her.