xo_ginalove:

It's funny to me how, even at a young age, we all try to find that sense of love. Not the kind of love that you get from family or close friends, but the kind of love that people seem to have for each other in movies. The kind of love that makes you want to go out and interview every single eligible bachelor in the kingdom and see if he's the one with the right glass slipper.

Sometimes we think we find it. We lose ourselves in this world where only you two exist and nothing else seems to matter. We are young and in love and no one can stop us. You know, that kind of mentality.

But then sometimes, we lose it. And when you're 16 and you think you've found love, there's nothing more devastating than losing it. You mope and you cry wondering if there's anyone in the world that could fix you up. And after months and months of wishing and waiting you begin to think that you're a lost cause; that you're not special enough to be found and will remain lost.

It's funny how we're so fixated on finding true love at such a young age, though we fail to realize that it's not meant to be found. Rather, it's meant to be a surprise.

Two days from now, this time last year, the cosmos will have thrown me a curve ball that basically hit me in the face. Even when I think about it now, it hasn't really felt like a year, considering how long I hope that we'll be together.

He showed up and I wasn't ready for it. I had just ended something that I thought was going to last for a very long time, but it just wasn't going to happen. I was in my first year of college and was starting to feel that sense of loneliness that hits every single college freshmen at one point or another. I prayed so hard that I would find someone to make me feel less lonely, maybe even more loved.

It was like magic, or like a scene from a really bad romcom. He appeared out of thin air and I was so thrown off by his presence. Admittedly, he was a really big jerk when I first met him; a douche rocket in my terms. Yet whenever we interacted with each other, I would trip over my words and myself.

Something about him left me dazed and confused and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't figure out what it was. I was frustrated, not only because he was making me sound stupid, but because I looked so stupid in front of him, and I couldn't figure out why.

I won't go into much detail but a few long AIM conversations and skype dates later, here we are. One year later.

Very much in love.

Looking back on everything, it's funny how I was even worried about finding "true love" at that age. How devastated I was when I thought I found it and lost it. I was foolish for thinking I could find it at that age, but it was a lesson well learned.

To everyone that's going through some kind of pain or hurt because of a break up or "lost love":

It may not seem like it now, but all the pain you're experiencing now, is well worth it. There is someone out there that is better for you and that someone will give you everything that you deserve. As long as you give yourself a chance to be open to love again it will find its way to you. But you have to be willing to give yourself that chance because you deserve it. By keeping yourself in a rut of hurt and pain, by dwelling on the past, you're doing yourself a great diservice and putting yourself at a disadvantage. If you keep the hurt of the past inside, you can't open up to the love that's waiting for you on the outside.

Then and Now.

Going through what I had to go through, all the lies, the cheaters, and the deceivers, it was well worth it. It made me strong enough to be ready for a real relationship. I learned valuable lessons from every single relationship I was in and have applied those lessons to this one and that's why I think everything is going so well, even from 2000 miles away.

My Dear,

You've made me forget what I even cried about in the past; what I was so hurt about in the past. You've changed me in more ways than one and all of it was for the better. All my prayers were answered when I met you and as corny as this sounds, I can't imagine my life without you.

I know I'm not like every girl out there. I seem to have more"¦ quirks. if you will, than most others. I'm stubborn and I spit fire at whoever I want too. i'm rude at times and very blunt and vulgar. I eat like a man and scratch my tummy like a snorlax. I can't stand stupid people and make fun of them all the time. I'm surprised you ever picked me in the first place, but I'm so glad you did because I'm always trying my hardest to be nothing but the best for you.

It's almost been one whole year since I met you. I can't thank you enough for everything you've done for me, from staying up with me to help me with a paper to making me smile when I'm crying so hard. I know that there are times we both want to be there with each other, especially those moments when life is the most difficult thing to deal with, but even from so far away, I know you're right here beside me.

I love you more than words could ever begin to explain. I can't wait to see you sweetheart.

Kris Mark:

I've taken part in a pretty wide spectrum of romantic relationships with women. To say I regretted any one of them would be a lie—despite the numerous things that have occurred in my past that could be deemed morally unacceptable.

No, I didn't kill anyone. But I did manage to metaphorically bust a few hearts open. I was once (and only once) the cheater, the cheated on, the victim of denial, the perpetrator of lies, the lied to. I've had my fair share of situations that reinforce every cliché involving karma.

Girls have given me trouble. If anyone has ever gotten the notion that I was just always a ladies' man"¦I don't blame you.

No, don't gag. I'm totally kidding.

Actually, for as long as I've been interested in the womenfolk, I've been the long-term relationship kind of guy. Try that mentality out in middle school and early college—1% of girls are gaga over it. Not to mention, I was the dorky "nice" guy with zero game. I was no stranger to the we-should-just-be-friends stamp, or the why-doesn't-she-like-me-because-I'm-clearly-better-for-her-than-that-douche affliction. I even flipped that around at one point, trying my hand at being the jerk. I gave them trouble too. At first intentionally, then unintentionally. But as most movies involving fickle behavior as a motive of revenge would tell you: being someone other than yourself has its repercussions. I eventually lost sight of why I wanted a relationship. I wanted to find out what love really was. (Insert Foreigner's epic hook here.)

I temporarily gave into the idea of the entire idea of romance being a "game" or just a filler to a void, such that I fell from my high road of being patient for the perfect girl, while working to make myself the perfect guy for her in the meantime.

When I remembered what I wanted, that's when I found her. The girl who quite literally haunted my dreams for an incredibly long time.

I wasn't the charming, reformed suave machine with a clean slate that I had hoped to be once I met her. I didn't think I deserved a chance with a girl like her, but there it was. All I had to do was make sure there was nothing I would regret before I spoke to her. So, I did the most counterproductive, yet most effective thing anyone could ever do when meeting someone they could potentially fall in love with. I was myself.

Not the guy who wanted to fill a void. Not the guy who tried too hard. Just a guy with an incredible curiosity towards a great personality, smitten by the single most gorgeous smile he's ever seen.

Then it hit me—everything I've ever learned, every heart-wrenching situation a girl has caused, or that I've caused myself—all taught me to just remember the purity of why it all happened in the first place. Keep it simple, learn, and be patient. Everyone has their chance.

And honestly, I want every single guy out there to feel like how I feel for her.

by Conan O'Brien (Dartsmouth College '11)

...Eleven years ago I gave an address to a graduating class at Harvard. I have not spoken at a graduation since because I thought I had nothing left to say. But then 2010 came. And now I'm here, three thousand miles from my home, because I learned a hard but profound lesson last year and I'd like to share it with you. In 2000, I told graduates "Don't be afraid to fail." Well now I'm here to tell you that, though you should not fear failure, you should do your very best to avoid it. Nietzsche famously said "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger." But what he failed to stress is that IT ALMOST KILLS YOU. Disappointment stings and, for driven, successful people like yourselves it is disorienting. What Nietzsche should have said is "Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you watch a lot of Cartoon Network and drink mid-price Chardonnay at 11 in the morning. "

By definition, Commencement speakers at an Ivy League college are considered successful. But a little over a year ago, I experienced a profound and very public disappointment. I did not get what I wanted, and I left a system that had nurtured and help define me for the better part of seventeen years. I went from being in the center of the grid to not only off the grid, but underneath the coffee table that the grid sits on, lost in the shag carpeting that is underneath the coffee table supporting the grid. It was the making of a career disaster, and a terrible analogy.

But then something spectacular happened. Fogbound, with no compass, and adrift, I started trying things. I grew a strange, cinnamon beard. I dove into the world of social media and started tweeting my comedy. I threw together a national tour. I played the guitar, did stand-up, wore a skin-tight blue leather suit, recorded an album, made a documentary, and frightened my friends and family. Ultimately, I abandoned all preconceived perceptions of my career path and stature and took a job on basic cable with a network most famous for showing re-runs, along with sitcoms created by a tall, black man who dresses like an old, black woman. I did a lot of silly, unconventional, spontaneous and seemingly irrational things and guess what ---- with the exception of the blue leather suit, it was the most satisfying and fascinating year of my professional life. To this day I still don't understand exactly what happened, but I have never had more fun, been more challenged, and this is important ---- had more conviction about what I was doing.

How could this be true? It's simple: there are few things more liberating in this life than having your worst fear realized. I went to college with many people who prided themselves on knowing exactly who they were and exactly where they were going. At Harvard, five different guys told me that they would one day be President of the Unites States. Four of them were later killed in motel shoot-outs. The other one briefly hosted "Blues Clues," before dying senselessly in yet another motel shoot-out. Your path at 22 will not necessarily be your path at 32 or 42. One's dream is constantly evolving, rising and falling, changing course. This happens in every job, but because I have worked in comedy for twenty five years, I can speak best about my own profession.

Way back in the 1940's there was a very funny man named Jack Benny. He was a giant star and easily one of the greatest comedians of his generation. And a much younger man named Johnny Carson wanted very much to be Jack Benny. In some ways he was, but in many ways he wasn't. He emulated Jack Benny, but his own quirks and mannerisms, along with a changing medium, pulled him in a different direction. And yet his failure to completely become his hero made him the funniest person of his generation. David Letterman wanted to be Johnny Carson, and was not, and as a result my generation of comedians wanted to be David Letterman. And none of us are --- my peers and I have all missed that mark in a thousand different ways. But the point is this: It is our failure to become our perceived ideal that ultimately defines us and makes us unique. It's not easy, but if you accept your misfortune and handle it right, your perceived failure can be a catalyst for profound re-invention.

So, at the age of 47, after 25 years of obsessively pursuing my dream, that dream changed. For decades, in show business, the ultimate goal of every comedian was to host The Tonight Show. It was the Holy Grail, and like many people I thought that achieving that goal would define me as successful. But that is not true. No specific job or career goal defines me and it should not define you. In 2000, I told graduates to not be afraid to fail, and I still believe that. But today I tell you that whether you fear it or not, disappointment will come. The beauty is that through disappointment you can gain clarity, and with clarity comes conviction and true originality.

Many of you here today are getting your diploma at this Ivy League school because you have committed yourself to a dream and worked hard to achieve it. And there is no greater cliché in a commencement address than "follow your dream." Well I am here to tell you that whatever you think your dream is now, it will probably change. And that's okay. Four years ago, many of you had a specific vision of what your college experience was going to be and who you were going to become. And I bet, today, most of you would admit that your time here was very different from what you imagined. Your roommates changed, your major changed, for some of you your sexual orientation changed. I bet some of you have changed your sexual orientation since I began this speech. I know I have. But through the good and especially the bad, the person you are now is someone you could never have conjured in the fall of 2007.

I have told you many things today, most of it foolish but some of it true. I'd like to end my address by breaking a taboo and quoting myself from 17 months ago. At the end of my final program with NBC, just before signing off, I said "Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen. " Today, receiving this honor and speaking to the Dartmouth Class of 2011 from behind a tree-trunk, I have never believed that more.

Thank you very much, and congratulations.