by Unknown

1. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-savings time.

2. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

3. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

4. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.

5. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.

6. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

7. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

8. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

9. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.

10. If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and He decides to deliver a message to humanity, He will not use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.

11. You should not confuse your career with your life.

12. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

13. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

14. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.

15. Your friends love you, anyway.

16. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

by Unknown

AFTER A WHILE"¦. you learn the subtle differences between touching a life, and changing a soul; You learn the subtle differences between holding a hand, and letting one go; You learn the subtle differences between failure and downfall; You learn the subtle differences between disappointment and regret; You learn the subtle differences between having faith and finding hope.

AND YOU LEARN"¦You learn that love doesn't mean certainty and success doesn't mean security; You learn that promises aren't perpetual and words aren't eternal; You learn that kisses aren't assurrances, and hugs aren't compromises; You learn that even sunshine burns if you ask for too much. So you begin to accept your defeats. With your head held high and your eyes straight ahead, you keep on going.

AND YOU LEARN"¦You learn to build your loads on today because tomorrow's grounds are too uncertain. So you plant your own garden and decorate your own life. You sing your own song and lighten your own soul. You write your own novel instead of waiting for someone else to write if for you. You smile; you dance; you laugh; you celebrate and you love. And you learn that you really can endure. That you really are strong.

And you learn"¦and you learn. With every accomplishment, failure, triumph and defeat"¦you learn.

by Unknown

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love.

So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

by Unknown

When you were 8 years old, your mom handed you an ice cream. You thanked her by dripping it all over your lap.

When you were 9 years old, she paid for piano lessons. You thanked her by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old she drove you all day, from soccer to football to one birthday party after another. You thanked her by jumping out of the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, she took you and your friends to the movies. You thanked her by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, she warned you not to watch certain TV shows. You thanked her by waiting until she left the house.

When you were 13, she suggested a haircut that was becoming. You thanked her by telling her she had no taste.

When you were 14, she paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked her by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, she came home from work, looking for a hug. You thanked her by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, she taught you how to drive her car. You thanked her by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, she was expecting an important call. You thanked her by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, she cried at your high school graduation. You thanked her by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19, she paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus, carried your bags. You thanked her by saying goodbye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 25, she helped to pay for your wedding, and she cried and told you how deeply she loved you. You thanked her by moving halfway across the country.

When you were 50, she fell ill and needed you to take care of her. You thanked her by reading about the burden parents become to their children.

And then, one day, she quietly died. And everything you never did came crashing down like thunder on you heart.

"After awhile you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, and you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security. and you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises, and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child, and you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for paths.

After awhile you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. so plant your garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure... That you really are strong, and you really do have worth..."

—Veronica A. Shoffstall