Let me guess:
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You act like everything is just fine and dandy, hoping that he'll just figure it out and back off eventually.
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You act passive-aggressive by screening his calls/texts/messages and give him the cold shoulder in person.
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You lie to him with something like, "I'm not ready for a relationship right now" or "I'm talking to somebody."
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You ask a mutual friend to help you out and talk to the guy.
Let me tell you what you should do:
Reject him. Straight up.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with turning down a guy that you're not interested in. All it takes is a simple, "I'm sorry but I don't look at you that way."
No need to give him attitude. No need to get all passive-aggressive. No need to feed him BS.
Just reject him. Straight up. But do it with class.
Sure, it'll be awkward for a little while, but by outright turning him down, you set his expectations back down to reality. If he really does not have a chance with you, you need to make sure he doesn't have a single thread of hope to cling on to.
If you don't draw the line, this is what will happen:
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He will keep pushing your friendship boundaries over and over and over. — "I know it's 3am but I'm gonna text her and tell her I miss her!"
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He will over-analyze every single action you do, every word you say, and make a big deal out of the smallest, stupidest shit. — "She did/didn't Like my post on her Facebook! I'm so fucking happy/emo!"
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His subconscious will constantly rationalize for reasons to believe that you're into him. — "She said I'm the nicest guy she's ever met! She totally wants me."
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He'll get jealous of any other guy that comes into the picture, including (and especially) other mutual guy friends. — "Why is my friend talking to her? What are they talking about? Why are they laughing so much??"
All of that will drag on for MONTHS until you finally bring it up to him.
If you wait too long to do it, in his eyes you'll go from being this "perfect" girl on a pedestal to "the heartless, unappreciative bitch that took advantage of every nice thing I did for her and threw me to the side the minute another guy came into the picture."
So ladies"¦just be straight up the guys around you.
There's no need for you to deal with drama. There's no need for the guy to build up his hopes for months only to have it come crashing down. There's no need to drag in your mutual friends and make it awkward for everyone.
I know you don't wanna come off as a bitch and you don't want to deal with the awkwardness. Totally understandable. But if you have zero interest in a guy that keeps insisting on being more than friends"¦save yourself the months of potential drama and just let him know whats up.
Thanks.
-Mel
(And no, this post isn't about me or made to call out anyone specific. This is just something that I've lived through several times in the past and continue to notice from other friends on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr & in person.)